..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
