Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize