His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
