everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
