I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
