Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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