I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
