So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
