i need an iv and a liver transplant
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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