walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
God, I missed his penis.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
