So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
