i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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