I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize