I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
