So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
