I could have mohawked her pubes.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Liz is crying about burritos again.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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