My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
