You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Randomize
