i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
