she was so not down for the gang bang
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
