ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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