Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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