No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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