i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
