hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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