Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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