He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Oh god it's open bar.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
