did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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