i barfeds in our rink
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
