By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
