Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
