I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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