she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
