who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
