you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize