you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
