Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
