Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I accidentally had phone sex last night
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
