i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
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