We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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