Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize