Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
