Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
