is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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