I just made out with a guy for $7.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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