Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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