Having a random hookup so left but love u
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I just gift wrapped bread.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
