Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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