no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
