Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize