Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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