Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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