yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Is Oprah even human
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
