That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
