i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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