just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
