i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize