I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
