he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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