You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
