You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Why is your signature on my underwear?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
