Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
