drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Two words: nipple clamps
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