dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I love you. Go after that dick
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
