Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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