Your tits are I can't wait for
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
