Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
