all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
